Hidden Danger
Carnegie Coach™
Hidden Danger
By Michael Crom, Executive Vice President, Dale Carnegie Training
Dear Carnegie Coach:
I supervise a young man named Derrick who seems very mild mannered. He’s a good web site administrator for our company and I’m happy with his work. The problem is that he goes ballistic over the littlest things. Worse yet, it’s totally unpredictable. For example, last week something got screwed up with payroll and his check didn’t get direct deposited. Instead I hand delivered it to him on payday. He immediately went to the payroll clerk and started yelling at her. She was in tears when she called me. I told him he’s never to do that sort of thing again but now I’m worried he’ll “go postal” on us some day. What can I do to prevent it? – Mikhail
Dear Mikhail:
You might be in over your head if you expect to prevent Derrick from blowing up. It sounds to me as though he has some issues with anger and control that are best handled by a professional. If there are opportunities to gently suggest this to him, I’d certainly do it. In the meantime, however, there are things you can do to minimize the chance that he’ll do something like this again:
1. Talk to him about why he did this. You did the right thing telling him it’s inappropriate behavior but it’s time to take it a step further. In our Leadership Training for Managers course we teach an approach to getting to know people better called an “Innerview.” The goal is to find out what makes this person tick – what motivates him, what makes him angry, what makes him happy, etc.
Take him out to lunch and start probing. Because Derrick seems internally focused you may have to do this a few times before he really starts to open up. He may be suspicious of you at first so it might even make sense to talk about your personal life a bit.
My suspicion is that Derrick feels people are out to get him. As a result, your “Innerview” can serve a double purpose. Not only will you find out information that can help you motivate him but you also will show that you care about him as a person. You will be on the first step toward building trust in your relationship. When that is achieved, you can move to the role of coach, guiding him in the appropriate behaviors.
2. Although you say Derrick is doing a good job, I think this might be a good time to work with him on a Position Results Description. This describes every activity Derrick is responsible for as well as the expected outcomes. These are valuable for every position but in this case it’s a way for you to formally reiterate what he should not do. For example, you can say that he is to bring all administrative problems to his supervisor, couching it in the fact that it saves his time and talents for the important job he’s doing. In other words, make the fault seem easy to correct.
3. Ensure that his dignity is maintained. I don’t know what you’ve said to others about this problem, but if you’re saying anything negative about Derrick to anyone (such as the payroll clerk), it’s time to change your tactic. No one wants to “go ballistic” so Derrick must have what he feels are good reasons. Listen to him, Let him express his ideas and opinions to you then seriously consider them. He will be much more open to growth and change if he feels he’s being taken seriously.
(c) Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc. 2000. All Rights Reserved.